Brave Men Run In My Family

“You here? There’s a war brewing all around the continent”. My mother said as she picked at her plate. 

“Yes, I did, dear”. My father replied, after swallowing his food. 

It was dinner time, and in our small house the candles all around us gave us light. The night sky was pitch dark behind us. 

“The King said the kingdom would need every able bodied man in the kingdom to join the army. Recruiters are supposed to come in the next few days”. I said, trying to add to the conversation 

“Nicholas, you plan on going to war?” My father asked, looking me in the eyes. “I don’t know father, I don’t want to but I know I have too”. I replied 

He frowned at me. “Y’know, you don’t have too. I faked an injury myself when I was your age when the kingdom was at war back then. Same for my father, and his father, and so on and so forth”. He said. “Really, me and your mother…we wouldn’t mind it, not one bit”. Mother nodded her head in agreement. 

“You’re fine with me just…not going?” 

“We don’t want you too dear”. Mother said. “I couldn’t handle my son dying, and your Father is telling you not too…so” Her voice trailed on. 

“Son, I can’t have someone in my family dying at such a young age, not when everyone else before me have all lived such long lives”. He paused for a moment. “You know what my brother did right?” 

“Joined the army?” 

“Exactly!” And you know what happened?” 

“He died”. 

“Indeed he did. He was around your age too. He threw his life away just like that. He could’ve been at this table right now if he didn’t”. He wrapped his hand on the table. 

“Father, I just don’t know. I just feel it might be wrong to just, I don’t know, run away”. 

“There’s nothing wrong with running, I did it, my father did it, your great grandfather did it. We’ve always known what’s best for us. Don’t think about it now, I know you’re just digesting it all. In a few days you’ll know what’s best for you”. 

“And what’s best for me?” I asked. Though I already knew what he was going to say. “Running of course!” Both of them said. 

I sighed. I finished my food and excused myself from the table, and went up to my room.

“He said that?!” Ramona yelled to me the next day. We were standing in the grass outside are houses in the outskirts of the kingdom 

“Mhm”. I replied “He kept telling me that there’s no shame in it, everybody before us has done it. It’s sort of like a family tradition I guess”. 

“Yeah, a family tradition of being a coward!” She said angrily. “If I weren’t born a girl…I would’ve gone to war”. 

The kingdom never allowed women into their army. It was an incredibly old rule fixed upon our kingdom hundreds of years ago. If you weren’t a woman born into nobility you couldn’t serve, and that was that. And since we were both common townsfolk, Ramona was stuck. Unlike me, she came from a long line of patriotic soldiers, who every generation, served our kingdom with their lives. They never became renowned for their prowess, but they loved our kingdom. And that idea was passed down from generation to generation. Ramona was the only child, like me, of her parents. But she berated herself about being born a girl. 

Ramona and her family have always been our neighbors, and we grew up together. We’ve always been friends, but it was always interesting how different our families were. She was raised thinking that being a soldier was an honor and a privilege, as every man in her family before her had always served the kingdom. While I came from a family of cowards. Her parents never admitted it, but I know they have a dislike for my father because of what he did to avoid the war. They always thought he was a coward through and through. 

She picked at her dark hair, it was something she did when she was angry. “Y’know you’re probably the only girl mad about not going to war”. I said. 

“I’d give my life for our people. And I’m stuck here doing useless shit”. She kicked a pebble that was laying in the grass. It got launched into the air, soaring up in an arc, and dive bombed into the bushes. “Doesn’t help that I know my father wishes I was born a man. I know he wanted a son”. 

Honestly I think my parents wish they had a daughter”. I said. “Then I wouldn’t even be in this mess”. Ramona sat down on the grass, staring at the small stream that passed through. Her hands were wrapped around her dress. She smoothed and unsmoothed her hair. 

“My family’s tradition ends with me, and it’s over something I can’t control”.I sat down beside her. 

“Ramona, don’t be so dramatic”. 

“I’m not. My family isn’t like yours. We don’t revel in escape. We always fight, we always do. My father, my grandfather, my great grandfather, everyone. We always fought for something, and it ends with a stupid rule barring me from entering. And you get to go, whether you like it or not, all because you’re a man. And you might just bow out and leave”. 

Ramona was guilt tripping me. I don’t really agree with her if I’m being honest. War is awful, it is and always will be. People die and their lives are cut short. It isn’t something to see as honor, or something to enjoy.

“War isn’t fun. I don’t want to do either option”. I said, looking at the small little water stream. 

“Well you have to pick the one that’s right. I’m not your family and I’m not you but at the end of the day, would you want to live your life always drifting away from your problems? Never stepping up to look at the thing that’s looming right at you? Whatever it is?” 

“I wouldn’t go just because my father did, I would go for my own reasons too. Tradition is important but I want to go for what I think. This is something that matters, I would give myself up so that the people in my life won’t have to see death and violence themselves. I don’t want to be the problem. To run and do something that could get others hurt in the end just isn’t something that’ll sit right with me”. 

As Ramona kept speaking I just sat in silence. My arms crossed over my legs. 

It isn’t as simple as saying you’re sick and staying home to get out of something you want to do. People more than just yourself play a part in this, and I don’t know if your selfish father realizes that”. 

She stopped for a moment. “Sorry I got a little caught up, forgive me for saying that last part”. 

“No, you’re alright”. I finally said Your right, too. I thought. 

Ramona sighed and looked out past the field our houses were on. She looked at it for a moment and stood up, brushing off her dress. “That’s all I gotta say, it’s your choice, whatever you want to do. You’ll still be my friend either way”. 

“Thank you”. I looked her in the eyes. We had sat out in this field between our houses for years, and this was just one more time out of the countless moments we’ve talked in the same spot. 

She smiled a half smile. “You’re all good”. 

That night I had a dream. My eyes lifted and I sat up. I was in a pool of water overlooking a forest. Trees shaded and surrounded almost everything, except for the overlook right in front of me. The sky was pitch black, the moon shone illustriously in a crescent shape, Nothing obscured it. I put my hand to my chest. I was wearing armor. It was caked in wet mud. I realized I was freezing sitting in that pool of water. I quickly got up, the armor felt like a wet uncomfortable cage. It stuck to my skin, and it didn’t let go. My wet hair clung to my forehead. I stepped out of the little pool and onto the ground. I stood there shivering, staring right into the clearing, right at the moon hanging perfect still in the sky 

What was I doing? People on both sides were telling me what I should do. How I should be. Should I do what we’ve always done? Lie about some fake disability I don’t have and watch my friends all disappear? Or finally face something my family and everyone before me was too scared to do? I didn’t know. I didn’t like either side. I hated lying, especially for something that actually meant life or death, and I was scared of actually being in a war. Both options I didn’t like, except I have to choose one.

My hand bumped my side, I felt something stuck to it. I gripped it. It was a sword. I unsheathed the longsword. It gleamed spotlessly, like it had never been used before. I raised it up and did a playful loose swing. I had never held a sword before. It felt heavy in my hands all of a sudden. I tried to hold on but my hands gave way and I dropped it. It fell to the grass and vanished altogether, it sank right into the ground like nothing was there. My hand was shaking. I clasped my hands together to try and stop them. The shivering of my hands was the only movement around. Everything hung in motion. Nothing stirred. I tried to move to get out of the little forested area I was in but every inch of movement my skin would stick and rub against my armor, it stuck to me like it was a part of my body. I slowly hobbled over and down through the clearing, walking down a small little grassy decline to a pathway and a small stream going down in the middle. Past the little brook it led into a darkening forest, so dark that I could only see the way in, it seemed to completely swallow you if you walked through it. As I inched over closer and closer to the forest, a figure appeared. He was hanging around right in front of the entryway. He was about my age, and dressed in thin looking armor. He had a bloody hole on the breastplate, with fresh blood seeping out of it. It spurted out, more and more. It never seemed to stop. He looked at me with a smile and waved. I didn’t know what to make of it. I was about to hop over the stream until I felt something behind me. I turned around out of pure curiosity. 

Many men were behind me, they were all older, some were almost decrepit with how aged they were, their hands almost bones themselves and the light gone from how many years their faces had seen. At the forefront of it all was my father looking right at me. Him, and all the others just stood there, their gazes all on me standing in the middle of it all. I turned my head to the young man on the other side, he still stood there, with a small half smile, his hand began to cover the hole in his chest. He opened his mouth and said, 

“The choice is yours” 

Then he swung his foot and turned, walked into the forest, and disappeared from view. The men were already gone when I turned my head to the other side. The sky was turning lighter and lighter, it went from inky blackness to a light pink shimmering through. Rays of light began to poke through 

The sun finally rose over my window as I layed in my bed, the dream suddenly ended. I sat up and climbed out of my bed. I had decided on what I was going to do. From my window the sky was a light blue. The beams of light were just poking through. I got dressed and walked down the steps and I saw my family, I opened my mouth and announced my decision. Ramona would probably like what I was going to say, my parents probably not so much.